A New Version of Anger Management 101 – You game?

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You are trying to become normal. And doing everything you can to prevent yourself from getting angry. But alas, you are failing again and again. And again. And your anger management is getting reduced to zilch! So, what is the deal? How come you are unsuccessful despite your best efforts? Let me show you a few easily doable tasks and hacks to prevent anger.

Anger Management = Expectations – Reality

Everyone must be aware of this equation. But what does it mean? Having no expectations at all? I know it is very difficult to not have any expectations. However, in today’s extremely ‘opportunistic’ world, it is very difficult to not have expectations. I am always reminded of a beautiful verse from the Bhagavad Geeta – “कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।“ What this means is “You do your duty and don’t worry about the fruits of your labor.” Honestly, it is very difficult to follow this, especially in today’s world but if you want, you can give it a shot.

Watch out for triggers

Just like a chemical reaction requiring catalysts, your behavior is influenced by triggers. These triggers are mostly from the behaviors of others. And it is entirely up to you to get influenced by them. But alas, we tend to get influenced by them! Every time. Without fail. How do we not get influenced by them? Neglecting them, acting as if they were not there in the first place! You need to have ‘buffalo’ skin to be immune from the triggers. More than that, one needs to have a strong heart to disregard the triggers from others.

Anger is due to your faults/weaknesses

One might be jobless or one might be not getting the desired things in life. Yes, everyone probably says it right – ‘Anger is due to your shortcomings! But dua (supplication) and sabr (patience) are the best weapons to fight anger or any other vice. In today’s world of huge uncertainties, one should always be on guard to avoid even uttering anything wrong/bad. Because this will create enmity between people. And this is an open ploy of Satan to sow seeds of enmity, distrust, disharmony, and whatnot! So, stay calm, focused, and careful about what you utter. Even a single word.

No matter the situation, there is always a way out

You are trying so many things to earn more money. Nothing seems to be working out. Hold tight. Sooner or later, there will be a way out. The only thing required by you is consistency and no complacency. Ever! You can never rest. I am not talking about physical rest. But I am just asking you to never give up. No matter what. Keep on trying harder and harder. And success will be at your feet.

Remember, if you run after the riches of this life, they always kick you with their legs. If you keep them, they will be after you! This is from Islam. Have proper rest, and proper food, think proper thoughts and have no malice towards anyone. Love all and hate none. If you want to hate something, it should be your shortcomings (especially your bad habits).

Hate the habit of a person, not the person

This too is cliché but I am reiterating it nonetheless. A person might be an alcoholic, a gambler, a womanizer, and whatnot! But you should always remember to hate the act of that person, not the person. Just tell me, is any single human being immune from any evil? Besides the ALMIGHTY and HIS Prophets (peace be upon all of them), no one in this entire universe is free from sins.

So, judge less, love more, give more, and expect nothing from others. I know this is easier said than done. But this is the best way to keep oneself safe from heartbreaks. Be moderate in whatever you do – be it, love, hatred, eating, sleep, or anything else. And you will be the best person around with whom everyone would like to hang around.

Humility is the key to success and anger management too

Remaining humble is always best. The ALMIGHTY loves humble people so much that they occupy the highest priority in the former’s eyes. All of us are mostly humble but as we age, we tend to create a false veneer of haughtiness, arrogance, etc. around ourselves a.k.a. act ‘tough’. This is due to the several bad experiences we might have experienced in our lifetimes with different kinds of people. But it is still OK.

We lose nothing in being humble. Let us walk the talk. Whatever I have talked about above. And this applies to me as well as all of you out there. Let us be good, do good, and live good. Till the end of our lives or at least till this world comes to an end. Whichever is earlier! Promise? Yes, that’s the attitude! Let’s do it, then.

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